Love Is Not A Victory March
by winstons1984
Summary: This fanfic picks up during Friday's episode (11-30-12) and will add some off screen details. This will loosely follow the storyline to come referencing some spoilers with my own ideas added to it. My ideas will be projecting what I wish would happen considering the limits of what already has happened and what the SPOILERS have indicated. Title is from "Hallelujah" Leonard Cohen
1. Chapter 1

_**Will's POV**_

There was one dominant thought in Will's mind as he pulled his car into the parking lot of Common Grounds. He had to see Sonny now. He had just left Gabi's and he tried to put Gabi, Nick, Chad and the baby out of his mind for now. Every cell in his body ached to tell Sonny about the issue he was grappling with, but he had promised to wait a day before saying anything. A day seemed fair, for Gabi, but he wouldn't have agreed to more. With determination, he took a long deep breath of the fresh and crisp autumn air before opening the door.

As Will walked in, he spotted Sonny a moment before Sonny saw him.

Sonny smiled as he greeted Will, "Hey."

"Hey. Hi," Will replied as he felt his body relax by a margin in response to Sonny's proximity.

"What's going on? How'd it go with, uh, Gabi and Chad?" Sonny asked with anxious interest.

Will ran through the memory in his mind focusing on Nick's words which still really bothered him, but he had promised one day so he pushed those thoughts aside, saying "It went great."

Will focused on the present. He desperately needed to be with Sonny right now. He needed to turn his world right side up again even if only for a few hours. Even more than that, he urgently needed to show Sonny again how important he was. He needed to communicate without words how much he loved Sonny and how he treasured their intimacy.

"You look a little upset. Did Chad say something to you?," Sonny asked looking skeptical.

Driven by his desire and need for handsome man in front of him, Will pressed on, "No, you know what? I don't want to talk about it at all. But I really do want to be with you right now. "

While Will was saying this, he acted on an impulse and tugged at the apron around Sonny's waist until it came loose. Sonny grabbed the apron with is free hand as a blinding smile illuminated his face. Will's body responded with his heart clenching like there was a metal clamp squeezing it. He was painfully happy seeing Sonny's reaction to his desire. Excitement spread from his heart to every limb.

As passion was clouding Will's senses, he tried to focus on the words coming from Sonny's lips, "Yes. Sure. Um, hey, Lauren... uh, do you-I'm going to get out of here for a Sonny little bit. Can you just kind of, like, watch over the place?"

"Sure," Lauren confirmed.

"All right," Sonny said with an energized smile.

"Let's get out of here," added Will, as they quickly left Common Grounds on their way back to bed.

**Sonny's POV**

Sonny was really worried about Will. It felt like, just when things should be perfect for them, something was pulling him away from Sonny. It reminded him of when Will was working for EJ. Sonny was ready to stand beside him then no matter what the challenge and he was just as committed now, if only Will would let him in.

As Sonny was working, he reminisced about their first night together. Everything was perfect, or beyond perfect, and that was the word they both had used. Will was so bold and assertive, starting with the moment when he said, 'I don't want to be here another minute'. Will seemed so certain about what he wanted and the amazing thing was that Sonny was what he wanted. The thought brought a joy to his heart that he really couldn't fathom still. After long months of longing for Will, it was still just too much to feel all at once. With the confused Will, Sonny had to continually hold back from touching his knee or kissing his cheek. Of course, he did sometimes touch Will then but only one twentieth of the times he actually felt the impulse. Sonny had always found Will incredibly sexy, but the new assertive Will, Sonny found him utterly irresistible.

All that aside, what he enjoyed the most was their emotional closeness. From the beginnings of their friendship they really enjoyed each other's company and had always been loyal and true friends and now there was so much more depth to their bond. And last night, Will was really opening up to him, talking sincerely about his feelings. Yes, Sonny had to prod it out of him, but once he started talking Sonny could tell he wasn't holding back and it was sincere. After Gabi's visit, that changed, Will was less open again and now Sonny was worried.

Just then as Sonny looked up he spotted Will coming toward him. He was relieved. Now that he was back, maybe they could talk.

"Hey," Sonny said with a smile.

"Hey. Hi," Will replied looking happy to see him.

"What's going on? How'd it go with, uh, Gabi and Chad?" Sonny asked with anxious interest. As he finished this question, Sonny watch Will visible tense up and his eyes got that wide faraway look just like when he came back from talking with Gabi.

"It went great," he said, but his face said 'it was awful' and 'if we talk about it, I might cry'.

Clearly something about Gabi was really upsetting Will and it probably was worsened by Nick who seemed really cold to both Sonny and Will and then of course, Chad definitely would have aggravated whatever the trouble is.

"You look a little upset. Did Chad say something to you?," Sonny asked looking skeptical. Sonny didn't want to push too much yet. Sonny just wanted to support Will, for now at least. He knew Will and Gabi were close friends and whatever was happening, Will was trying to help her and Sonny didn't want to get in the way of that.

"No, you know what? I don't want to talk about it at all. But I really do want to be with you right now."

While Will was saying these words, he inserted his hand between Sonny's apron and the zipper of his jeans and gave a tug that pulled his apron right off. Sonny was so surprised and thrilled at the same time, but he managed to grab the apron with his free hand before it fell to the floor. God, he was sexy, this new Will who was afraid to take what he wanted. Suddenly, Sonny couldn't think of anything but getting Will to his bed quickly and he felt a smile spread across his face.

He was almost stuttering from excitement as he said, "Yes. Sure. Um, hey, Lauren... uh, do you-I'm going to get out of here for a Sonny little bit. Can you just kind of, like, watch over the place?"

"Sure," Lauren confirmed.

"All right," Sonny said turning back to Will.

"Let's get out of here," added Will, as they quickly left Common Grounds on their way back to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

_There was a time when you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show it to me, do you?  
And remember when I moved in you  
The holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

_From "Hallelujah" Leonard Cohen_

**Chapter 2**

After Will parked the car, he quickly walked around the car and reached for Sonny's hand just as he was closing the car door behind him. Holding hands they were walking, speed walking, and then almost jogging toward the front door. Sonny was fumbling for the right key with one hand as he could sense that there was no way Will was letting his other hand go. He got the door open and threw his keys on the desk turning to pull Will into a deep embrace coupled with a matching kiss.

Will finally broke the kiss catching his breath to say, "I know this sounds crazy, and we have only been apart for a few hours, but I really missed you. I missed your lips. I missed your eyes. I missed your hands. I missed your arms. I missed your laugh. I have missed touching you. You have opened my eyes to . . . . ." he trailed off looking down shyly and then tried to cover his shyness by disguising it, kissing Sonny's neck and tightening his grip around his waist.

Sonny tilted his head to the side and pressed Will's cheek up until they were eye to eye again. "What? Finish your sentence. I have opened your eyes to what."

"I thought better after I started my sentence, you might take it the wrong way. Here, kiss me," Will said raising his eyebrows quickly.

"You won't get another kiss from me until you finish your sentence, Will," Sonny replied with mock seriousness.

"OK . . . you have . . . geez this is embarrassing. . . you have opened my eyes to how great sex can be," he finished awkwardly.

Sonny laughs heartily and then seeing Will's embarrassment tries to harness his laughter.

"Go ahead and laugh if you want, but I really had no idea. I probably would have been in a much bigger hurry if I had any idea that this is what I could expect. Now that I think about it, why didn't you show me sooner," Will gave Sonny a puzzled almost angry look but it was paired with a wide smile.

Sonny was still laughing despite his best efforts and it took a moment before he could respond, "Now that's not fair, you know I tried. Remember when I lured you here? Believe me I was trying to figure out how to "show you," in your words, . . . but it isn't always this great. In fact, last night with you was the best for me, ever," Sonny said sincerely. He wasn't laughing any more.

Will's jaw dropped and he gasped. Was that really true? He really wanted to believe it. He wanted to give Sonny everything he could want. That was all that Will wanted seeing Sonny's pleasure last night gave Will more pleasure then he ever thought he was capable of experiencing. Looking back into Sonny's rich brown eyes, he saw a playful look dancing there.

"Maybe we can beat that today, what do you say? A new all-time best for both of us. Are you up to the challenge?" he was laughing again pulling Will closer and kissing his face starting with his temple, then his cheek, then his jaw leaving his mouth free to accept the challenge.

"Yes, I am . . . and no holding back for you either. I am experienced now, you don't need to be careful with me anymore," he giggled, raised his eyebrows and then dove in for a deep kiss pulling Sonny's waist with one hand and the back of his neck with the other as tightly to him as he possibly could. He could feel the buttons on his deep blue shirt and the stitching on his jeans. As much as Will hated to put even an inch between them it had to be done to get the clothes out of the way.

There were no more words for awhile. Just staccato breaths, deep moans and then a few words unbidden from their mouths.

After a moment's rest Will draped the right half of his body over Sonny's, trying to recapture some of the closeness that just ended. Sonny kissed his cheek, put his arm under Will and pulled him closer. They stayed like this for awhile and Sonny recounted, in his mind, the unbelievable experience they had just shared. He couldn't believe it but it really was a new all-time best. He remembered when he had told his dad. I have a feeling this relationship isn't going to be boring. He was definitely right about that, but then this thought led to his concerns earlier in the day. There really was something Will wasn't telling him. If it was just Gabi's problem why did Will seem so very troubled about it. He kissed will on the cheek once more dressed in his boxers and tank top and headed to the bathroom.

When he returned, Will was playing a video war game.

Sonny moved close to him and kissed his shoulder asking, "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm better than okay. And every time I'm here with you, I wish I never had to leave," Will's voice was flat, monotone and his eyes didn't leave the screen. If he wanted to really hide something from Sonny he sure wasn't very good at it. That was a comfort to Sonny at least.

"Yeah? Well, what's going on out there that's so bad? Whatever it is, if it's Gabi or, you know, something else, you know I'm here for you. Will... can you please just talk to me? What's wrong?" Sonny pleaded.

Will stuttered as he started to dress, "I'm s-I can't."

"You can't what? What can't you tell me?," Sonny asked with frustration.

"Well, I made a promise that I can't tell anybody, and you included. I want to tell you, but I just can't," he said sincerely.

"A promise? What, to Gabi?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Will said looking down.

Sonny sighed with exasperation.

Will saw this and tried to salvage the situation, "It's not about you, though. That's the good thing. Oh, and while we're on good news, um, I saw my dad earlier. And, uh, he said that you said..." with a playful wink.

"That I love you? I did say that," As Sonny said these words Will felt his heart lighten from some of the pressure he'd been carrying.

Sonny inched closer and said, "But I really regret that I told him and not you... because I love you, Will. I really love you," a tidal wave of happiness washed over Will and then he realized Sonny was leaving and the wave just as quickly retreated.

"Hey, hey, Sonny... I don't care that you told my dad before me. Hearing it from him, hearing it from you especially, is the most amazing thing. I love you too," Will tried to pack all the emotion he felt in those last four words. He could feel Sonny pulling away and he was grasping for him.

"You don't have to say it just because I said it," Sonny said with a meek smile.

"I'm not just saying it. I swear, I'm not just saying it. I mean, I've felt this for a while. I just-I don't know. I was afraid-I was scared that if I said it, it'd be too early," as he said this Sonny could see the fear on his face and wondered. How could he be afraid? He most know how I feel after all this time.

"What, you thought if you- you would scare me off if you were honest about how you feel?" Sonny really wanted to understand the answer. Sonny wished that Will would realize that the best way to keep me close is honesty.

"Yeah. So come on, come back. Please come back," Will was desperate now clawing for Sonny with his words and reaching with his hands. He was losing him.

"I can't. I can't. I can't leave the coffee house for that long, okay?" seeing Will's desperation Sonny softened slightly and he gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay. You promise you're not mad at me?" Will said with a prayer in his eyes.

"You made a promise to keep a secret. I'm not going to make you go back on your word, okay? It's just..." Sonny hesitated as he knew his next words would hit Will like a brick wall.

"It's what?" Will asked with clear fear in his face.

"You know, I just can't imagine ever keeping anything from you... no matter who was asking." Sonny was resigned. The job was done. Will knew the difference now between Sonny's love and Will's. Sonny still hoped they would bridge this gap soon. He felt the crevice widening between them.


End file.
